The 3 times in my life when the Divine me from own stupidity.
There've been at least three significant times in my life when it was abundantly clear that I was being watched out for — that there was a swooping Divine force that was protecting me from my own silly immaturity or even pure stupidity.
Once it happened when I was doing a photoshoot with a friend. I thought it'd be "sexy" if I reclined on the stair railing, only inches thick, and instead of an "oh la la" reaction, I was greeted with screeching screams as my friend and her husband watched me slip and potentially plummet to my death, five stories down, on pure concrete.
I genuinely felt a hand come from the ethers and swoop me up to land me as gently as possible down onto the next floor's landing below, helping me to miss the gap where I would surely have broken my neck or back or anything that would've led to a fatality.
I still have nerve damage in my knee from this fall and the numbness I feel there is a reminder of both humility and grace.
**
Another time, I was in Indonesia for a friend's wedding. My friend, Doug, happened to have moved there to surf for the better part of a year, so I decided to meet up with him.
He had already become familiar with Bali's streets and knew how to ride his motorcycle around. I wanted to ride one too, but what I should've paid attention to is the fact that anytime the Universe communicates to me in three's is when I should pay attention that something's up.
The first time: "Are you sure you know how to ride a motorcycle?" Doug asked.
The second time: "Are you sure she knows how to ride a motorcycle?" the woman renting it to us asked.
The third time: "Are you sure she can ride a motorcycle?" the guard at the gate asked before he opened the railing.
Each time I said "yes" when I should've said "no."
A few seconds after pulling out of the gate, I revved the engine too hard and the bike slipped out from under me, potentially landing and crushing my left leg, were it not for the empty surf rack that just happened to be on the side upon which I fell.
Doug stopped his bike immediately, and ran to my side.
"OhmyfuckingGOD, ohmifuckinggod," he said on repeat. "I thought that I just watched you die!"
**
The other time, one I'm shameful to admit, was after I had too much wine with my friend Kat on Kauai.
We were two single girls, beyond grateful we had found another soul sister to connect with on innumerable levels.
I was beyond the point where I should've been driving my stick shift Jeep, but I got into that car anyway, assuring my friend I was fine.
I drove on the two-lane road, one lane heading my direction, the other in the opposite, and had to cross a dangerous bridge upon which too many people sped — especially tourists.
By the time I pulled up Kalihiwai Ridge, my car spun around several times.
It stopped by the side of the road, stalled.
"Holy shit," I said aloud, immediately sobering up.
This was the Universe shaking my reality by telling me, "What the fuck are you doing!" and stalling my car until I could properly get home.
I could've flipped. I could've severely hurt someone else. I could've any number of things I am beyond grateful did not happen that night.
Because I was ego-driven or foolish.
Because I didn't value myself.
Because I needed the Universe to protect me when I was my own worst enemy.
Believe that you're being unconditionally loved.
Even when you don't know any better on how to show up.
One of my eating disorder therapists told me that sometimes, you don't know you're in the dark until someone turns on the Light.
Thank God I found the Light.
