Life is an upward moving spiral.

Apr 23

It's happened again...

The last time that I knew I was supposed to move to the islands was when I woke up in the morning on the day I was scheduled to fly back from Kauai and cried...

I couldn't do it.

So, I rescheduled my flight.

Stayed a few more days.

Continued to experience her magic.

And then, within three weeks sold all of my possessions, and moved back to the island.

Today, I'm scheduled to fly back from Oahu to Austin.

I didn't even get to see all of the island and do all the hikes or lay out on the beach as much as I wanted to, because the purpose of this trip was different:

I was working with a client on building her business.

I was meeting other collaborators for future big experiences.

I was here to heal the experience I had the last time I was on the islands, when Mama Kauai welcomed me in, set me through an intense initiation phase, and offered me up the best experiences of my life (meeting my Great Love, having our daughter) and the worst experiences (going through hyperemesis gravidarum during pregnancy and then severe postpartum depression).

Every single time I see the hula, I well up with tears.

Every time I hear Hawaiian chanting, I get choked up.

And today, as I need to pack up all my things in prep for my flight back to the mainland, I am filled with a sadness...

I want to come back.

"Just move here!" Lowell has encouraged me throughout this trip, joking as we were paddling out, then sporadically throughout all of the incredible experiences we've shared.

I'm thankful for this sadness.

What it shows me is that Hawaii and I still have a connection.

During this trip, I've encountered full-circle healing in so many ways...

I've gone back to the places where the last time I was there, I was so sick, I couldn't stand up at times.

I've seen the hospital where my daughter and I were medi-vac'd when she had a skull fracture, and developed a newfound compassion for my husband.

I've even gone back to the jewelry store where we got my engagement ring and... well, that's another big story to come.

This was the same experience I had a year after I moved away from China. Going back to the same places I experienced badly in the depths of my eating disorder and going 'round full circle to have an entirely different experience the second time around.

I've often shared that I believe life is a spiral. An upward moving spiral.

If you're meant to have an experience or teaching again, it'll come back... more refined the next time. You'll be a different person with new experiences then and can receive it differently, too.