Feel Good Grief

Today's tidbit is this one idea from the book, 101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think:

Recently, I told a client that the full-time offer they extended to me wasn't quite the right fit for my life at that moment. That afternoon, I had a meeting with the Copy Director of my current full-time job, where I've been vying for a leadership position within my existing company. 

In both of those conversations, I was honest:

“I've got things going on right now in my personal life, where it's causing me to take a step back and reflect on what would be the best for myself and for my daughter."

The Copy Director wanted to affirm that we were friends first, so no matter what was happening with work, that relationship always took precedence.

Then, he shared:

“Look, I went to a lot of family therapy growing up. And what I've learned is to not let anyone tell you that you're not fine. You're going to deal with things the way you need to.”

Both of these people responded to my humanity with humanity. 

Our culture doesn't teach you about grief. 

We don't learn how, when we don't fully integrate the things that have happened to us in our lives, the energy behind them continues to grow.

In listening to Michael Singer's book, Living From a Place of Surrender, he shared a valuable sentiment that caused me to press “pause” and reflect: 

What you've gone through is finite. It happened in a moment. That moment ended. What kept going was the story that you created around it — the thing you keep re-living in your mind.

What you need to do, the things you need to heal, is also finite. Your soul is infinite. The things that you have to shed, to fully allow into your heart, even the pain of it, is finite. That part doesn't go on forever.

I'm curious if grief could feel good… 

if finally allowing yourself to integrate the things that have happened in your life would create the kind of powerful wisdom that our souls are craving and thus, return us to a sense of wholeness, wonder, and peace. 

If feeling all of the things we are afraid of feeling, if finally metabolizing the grief, would mean that we would no longer hurt and instead, return to our innate nature: 

Joy.

Because everything that happens to us adds to the Universe's knowledge bank. It's a way for our collective consciousness to continue to evolve.