I started therapy again. And, it’s great.
A few months ago, I realized it was time to talk to someone.
I feel like I'm at a crossroads — how I've lived my life until now may have worked to a certain degree, but it's no longer where I want to “get to."
In order to write the next chapter, I have to figure out how to integrate the storyline a bit better from the previous parts of my life.
I also realized that I wanted to talk to someone who would inherently know what it was like to grow up as an Asian American woman.
I had no idea how liberating it would be able to switch languages and use words that don't have a direct translation in English, and my therapist would nod her head and get it right away.
To be clear, I wanted to write this woman off.
I spent the first 50-minutes of our session sure that she wasn't the right fit until the last 10 minutes, when she asked:
“Do you want to know my assessment?”
She then proceeded to share such zingers, my only thought was:
“Holy sh*t, this woman knows what she's doing.”
As we ended our session a few weeks ago, my therapist said there are five core pillars for self-care that may be helpful to you on this Feel Good Friday:
Sleep
The goal is 5-7 hours of uninterrupted sleep.
Because I tend to wake up several times through the night, she said that this demonstrates I'm a light sleeper and may be an alert that I've been more anxious than I've thought… she recommended I keep a journal by the bed to jot down how I'm feeling or any thoughts I have every time I wake up.
How often are you waking up?
Nutrition
Having been in the biohacking community, I know that this can be an exceptionally controversial topic, but she recommends three meals and two snacks, mostly so that the furnace of your stomach (a.k.a. a vat of acid) has something to work with rather than itself.
How are you nourishing yourself lately?
Exercise
90-120 minutes a week, which breaks down to three 30-minute sessions on the low-end or five 30-minute sessions on the high-end.
Exercise is one way to get the feelings in the body moving and out.
In what ways are you moving your body?
Meditation/Medicine/Medical
Meditation allows for an opportunity to practice being rather than doing. Medicine is taking what your body needs as optimal fuel. Medical is going to see healthcare providers, especially as we grow older, for preventative and healing opportunities.
How are you practicing being over doing?
Self-Love
And this, of course, is the area where I be practicing the most. My homework this week is to write 25 positive self-attributes and to really dive deep with them, seeing what true qualities are there. Each attribute is something that I am at least 50% of the time.
What are your positive attributes?
The therapist said that she has a longer intake than any therapist she knows, because her questions are designed to truly encourage me to take time to reflect, take stock, and be honest with where I am now.
I think one of the most powerful practices I'm embarking on now is self-forgiveness.
I was speaking with a friend's dad last weekend, a man in his 70s, and he said that he went to therapy and learned that the person he had to forgive the most in life and in business was himself.
Rather than dealing with the thoughts of “How could I have been such a fool?” or “Why did my business partner do that?” or “Why are my kids acting like this?” the most important thing he had to do began with going inward and telling himself, “It's okay. You're okay. I forgive you.”
Maybe that's something you needed to hear today, too.
It's okay.
You're okay.
We're forgiven.
