EP 102: The Greatest Lessons Learned from Embracing Mistakes [Mindfulness]
The Journey of Learning: From Soccer to Life Lessons
My daughter recently started playing soccer. Initially, she was hesitant and didn't enjoy it, much like my own experience with learning new things in front of others. I was taught to strive for perfection and not make mistakes, but I've been actively encouraging my daughter to embrace mistakes as learning opportunities. I discovered a love for sports later in life and have been enjoying watching her play soccer. It's a beautiful journey, one that mirrors my own path of embracing imperfections and learning from them.
Career Developments and New Opportunities
In addition to my daughter's soccer journey, I've had some exciting developments in my career! I was asked to lead a seminar with the New York Public Library, a significant achievement for me. My presence on LinkedIn has provided me with new opportunities to share my personality and life with my audience. It's a testament to the importance of authenticity in building connections and relationships.
Reflecting on Personal Growth
Since 2018, I've gone through a divorce, dealt with debt, and faced uncertainty. However, I'm now in a healthy relationship, debt-free, and have a thriving branding and content marketing agency. I'm also a Tory Burch Foundation fellow and have a strong community of surf mamas. My daughter is thriving, and I'm physically and mentally stronger than ever before.
Coaching and Transformations
I've been coaching highly sensitive creative women and have witnessed powerful transformations in my clients. One client experienced a breakthrough session with me, and I'm grateful for the opportunity to help others. It's a reminder of the power of allowing oneself to make mistakes and embracing imperfections.
Embracing Imperfections and Authenticity
I encourage you to go at your own pace and not compare yourself to others. Yes, there are hardships and suffering in the world, but it's important to honor where you are and be grateful for your journey.
Going Deeper
I invite you to go deeper by visiting wildheartedwords.com/reality. There, you can receive seven days of mindset shifts delivered to your inbox for free. These practices are designed to be done in ten minutes or less each day, acknowledging the challenges of being a busy divorced parent.
You Are Not Alone
I started the podcast to let everyone know that they are not alone. I aim to be open and honest in my sharing so that you can see someone who has been through similar experiences and has achieved what you aspire to. Remember, you are not alone in your journey.
Episode Highlights:
Learning from Mistakes [00:02:06]
Judy shares her personal experience and reflections on learning from mistakes and encouraging her daughter to do the same.
Discovering a Love for Soccer [00:02:06]
Judy talks about her daughter's initial hesitation towards soccer and how she has now grown to love the sport.
Introducing a New Opportunity [00:06:14]
Judy announces a new opportunity for listeners to participate in a 30-minute intuitive clarity session on the show, sharing techniques and giving back to the community.
Life Transformation [00:09:42]
Judy shares her personal journey from a difficult past to a fulfilling present, including divorce, debt, and building a successful career and personal life.
Client Testimonial [00:10:49]
Judy reads a testimonial from a client who experienced a powerful breakthrough session with her, leading to positive transformations in their life.
Embracing Mistakes and Finding Success [00:12:54]
Judy discusses the importance of allowing oneself to make mistakes, embracing imperfections, and finding success at one's own pace.
The power of mindset shifts [00:22:28]
Judy discusses the importance of mindset shifts and offers a free 7-day mindset shift program.
You're not alone [00:24:07]
Judy reassures listeners that they are not alone and shares her own experiences as a divorced parent.
Support and staying in touch [00:25:27]
Judy encourages listeners to support the show by leaving a review and invites them to sign up for her weekly newsletter.
Links Mentioned:
Course: Overcoming Challenges and Traumas Through Mindset Shifts and Manifestation
Book: "NLP: The Essential Guide to Neuro-Linguistic Programming"
There may be affiliate links included in this blog post.
Transcript:
Judy Tsuei (00:00:02) - Welcome to the F*ck Saving Face podcast, where we're empowering mental and emotional health for Asian Americans and voices of color by breaking through taboo topics. Life may not always be pretty, but it is indeed beautiful. Make your story beautiful today. In case you're new to this show, my name is Judy Tsuei and I'm the founder of Wild Hearted Words. We are a strategic branding and content marketing agency, and we focus on working with female entrepreneurs of color to create sustainable six figure success. If you'd like to experience what it's like to work with me, you can sign up for my latest masterclass that's available on my website at Wild Hearted Words. Com forward slash shop. It's called overcoming challenges and traumas through mindset shifts and manifestation. And when you sign up for the audio course, that's about an hour. You'll also get a bonus PDF filled with incredible affirmations that you can practice every day to welcome in the life you'd like to have. For a limited time, the course is now only $19. Again, go to wildheartedwords.com/shop. Now on to the episode.
Judy Tsuei (00:01:06) - Hello, hello. We are at episode of 102. Can you believe it? My daughter is currently at her soccer practice, which she has increasingly grown to love. In the beginning she was frustrated because, like me, she doesn't like learning how to do things in front of other people that she doesn't already know how to do, and that she doesn't already know how to excel at. And this was something that I grew up with because I was taught to perform and I was taught to achieve perfection. And so because I had rooted my identity so much in intelligence, then making mistakes was never accepted in my household. And it did not compute that that's how you learn a lot of the times. The most valuable lessons that we learn come from the mistakes that we make. And so I thought it was something that was nurture, something I learned in my environment. But it could have also been something that was nature, because this is something that my daughter has been like since she was very, very young.
Judy Tsuei (00:02:06) - And I actively tried to encourage to make mistakes that this is how we learn. And yet I also know that by default, I have certain ways that I engage with the world that she, because she's a young little being and witnessing everything, has probably seen how loudly my actions speak. And so in the beginning, when she started soccer, she did not love it and she picked it up pretty quickly. And then I also saw her hesitate. She wasn't really going after the ball, you know, she was kind of staying away from it. And then all of a sudden last week, her coach said something switched and it flipped and she went into this different mode and, you know, made a goal. And they were like, where has this player been all along? And I told her that when I was growing up, you know, sports were not a thing in our Chinese household. We were not aware to participate in any sports. And so as I was in elementary school, I started realizing, hey, there's this thing called kickball and there's handball and tetherball and, you know, all these other things.
Judy Tsuei (00:03:09) - We ended up playing Chinese jump rope as well. Totally brought it into our Western elementary school. And it became the thing that everybody was doing at recess and at lunch. And I remember just jumping and being able to jump all the way to your neck height. Now, granted, we were all smaller, but still, that seems pretty impressive. So as she continued to evolve in her capabilities in this sport, I started putting women's soccer on. I've started learning the sport. I've loved watching her play, and I told her that I also didn't really know how to play sports before, and then somehow something clicked and it became something I loved. And so I was the one who was the girl playing basketball at lunch and at recess in junior high. And I was really great at defense, or I was the one who was always pitching in softball and always pitching and kickball, and it just became something that I really, really enjoy. So it's been super fun to see her evolve. And for her to tell me now how fun soccer is, how she was even thinking of having soccer as part of her birthday party coming up.
Judy Tsuei (00:04:15) - And all of this is this beautifully organic way in which we are learning and growing together. She was in private school last year. She's in public school this year, so I've had to learn a lot of different things racing around school, not really sure. And it's all okay. And I've been having so much fun. And today's mindfulness practice is about learning how to enjoy your life and have fun. Because in the last month alone, I've been asked to lead a seminar with the New York Public Library, which is so such a big deal for me. I intern in New York when I was in college at Berkeley, and I remember walking by the library, seeing those lion statues. I just remember the met and how important all of the arts and culture was. So to be able to be asked to speak and lead a seminar, and then also because I was found on LinkedIn, which I've been much more prominent in posting, taking the courses that they offer and really finding that this is a platform that's right for me.
Judy Tsuei (00:05:16) - Everything else I've been playing on Instagram is a wonderful opportunity for me to share more of my personality and more of my life with my daughter. And so if you are an entrepreneur, it's so interesting and important for you to be curious and for you to test things out and to understand that failure is learning, you know, failing forward, and especially if you're building a personal brand, this is really important to figure out how to work in a way that works for you. A lot of my friends, mentors, you know, they'll say, is this like the social media, Judy? Or is this the real Judy? And I really tried to be as aligned as possible and as authentic as possible. Obviously, there are certain things that I'm going to be working out in my personal and private life that I will not share until I'm ready to, if I want to, in a more public space. However, everything that I'm sharing is an example of. Where I am and what I've been able to cultivate and create.
Judy Tsuei (00:06:14) - So I wanted to share something that I wrote recently, because if you find yourself going through a hard time, if you're looking to evolve in your career, if you're looking to create your own personal brand, if you want to get rid of limiting beliefs, negative thoughts, you know, all of these, all of the baggage that you may be carrying. That's not who you are and who you want to be. Then there's so many ways in which we can work together. And if that sounds aligned to you, I encourage you to reach out to me. One of the most exciting things that I'm announcing here first is that I would love to have you reach out to me. If you want to be someone who I bring on the show to do a 30 minute Intuitive Clarity session where I bring in neuro linguistic programming techniques that my clients have gotten phenomenal results with, where they're just so aware of how easeful life has been for them, how transformational things are, but in a very calm and easy way where they don't feel so activated, so charged, so they just are so proud of themselves that they're showing up differently and they're showing up differently with ease.
Judy Tsuei (00:07:28) - And so the results that I'm getting, I want to showcase and share with other people what those techniques are, how that actually works. And I also want to give back. So I know that, you know, with the rates and prices that I charge, they are what I want to cultivate for the life, for myself and my daughter, as well as for the decades of personal lived experience and everything that I've invested in learning and growing and putting that out forward. And that's not going to be in everybody's budget. So if that's not in your budget and you're curious about the work that I do, then I'd love for you to consider hopping onto the show where we will do a complimentary session, and in exchange, it will be an opportunity for other people to hear what these processes are like. You know, we can make it anonymous so that people won't know who this is. And I just want to peel back the curtain, and I want other people to see that this work isn't mysterious or elusive, that it's actually for someone like me who is both strategic and creative, that it makes a lot of sense, and that the results that I've found have been so profound in my own life that this is why I'm bringing it forward to other people.
Judy Tsuei (00:08:43) - So, you know, this last weekend I've actually been back to LA two weekends in a row, bringing my daughter back, because the time that I spend with my family now is so much more enjoyable. My dad was actually singing this last time that we were home. It was just me and him at home. My sister had taken my daughter out to lunch, my mom had gone out to church with her friends, and my dad was in the middle of making buns and just preparing food as food as his love language. And I was getting ready to go meet with one of my newest clients who I just adore. So as I was moving about the house getting ready, I just heard my dad singing to himself and it was just such a lovely experience and I wanted to record it because it was just such a sweet moment. And so I'm excited to go home these days. And this is a profound shift from the way that I even felt three months ago, four months ago. And that was the result of the work that I did with NLP.
Judy Tsuei (00:09:42) - So I also want to share with you that the best part about this life that I'm creating is that every day I get a step closer to everything I want to be doing. And being so me in 2018 was realizing that I needed to get divorced. I had loads of debt, I was alone and scared. I was living internationally and I needed to set up a life from scratch in the United States. I had few career prospects. I was worried about what the future would hold for my daughter, and I didn't want people to hug me because my body was so frail it would throw out my neck and my shoulders. Me. In 2023, I'm happily in a healthy relationship. We actually just bought tickets to go to Oaxaca and November, and that's going to follow the trip that I'm taking my daughter to Hawaii for her fall break in October. I'm debt free and my savings and investments are continually being replenished. I have an epic community of surf mamas. I own a thriving branding and content marketing agency with a team of writers and designers, and I'm one of 50 women entrepreneurs around the country who've been selected as a 2023 Tory Burch Foundation Fellow.
Judy Tsuei (00:10:49) - My daughter is thriving, as I talked about at the beginning of this episode, and I'm physically and mentally stronger than I've ever been in my life. I've had people remark about my physique lately and like, you know, they were saying that my arms, they were very much admiring it, which I'm very grateful for. These days, I'm leaning more into coaching highly sensitive, creative, driven women seeking to make. Can impact on the world. And in the past few weeks, I've led multiple clients through powerful mental and emotional release technique that has created profound results. In just one day, I got epic emails and texts from multiple clients who felt compelled to share the remarkable transformations they were seeing in their lives. And here's what one client shared with me. I experienced a powerful breakthrough session with Judy. Judy held amazing space for me without judgement so I could share openly and get help for some compulsive behaviors I've struggled with my entire life. Not only did Judy help me uncover a core belief that was creating my issues, which in and of itself was really powerful, Judy also supported me in releasing subconscious beliefs and negative emotions that weren't serving me.
Judy Tsuei (00:11:53) - Since my session with Judy, I've had so much more love and compassion for myself, and I've been successful in changing my compulsive behaviors. Judy is an amazing coach and practitioner. Thank you Judy. And this is from Astra. So if you're looking for results like that, send me an email. Judy at Wild Hearted Words and tell me a little bit about yourself and what it is that you're looking for, and I will respond and see if it's a right fit for you to either come on the show and receive a complimentary session, or if there are other ways that you want to work together to truly create the life that you want to be creating. So for today's mindfulness practice, this is about allowing yourself to make mistakes, allowing for things to be imperfect. Even as I'm recording this right now, there's someone outside drilling and that you can have fun with life. One of the things that I've been posting a lot more about on LinkedIn is to go at your own pace, your own optimal rate of success, which is often slower than you would like it to be.
Judy Tsuei (00:12:54) - And I think the rush to get to a certain place is us learning how to navigate the discomfort because it's uncomfortable to be in the unknown. And so we want to get away from that and get to the next step or that on the outside, everybody looks like they have made it and so on the inside. Why haven't I made it there yet? What's wrong with me? How is everybody else figured out what that thing is? That it's just a rocket ship to success when we don't know all the ins and outs, we don't know the back end of what it took. We don't know what levers were pulled in their favor, what they were able to leverage. We're comparing our insides to someone else's outsides, which always I don't know about you, but every time that I've ever compared myself, I just feel super crappy. It's never like I'm coming out in a winning situation. And there are plenty of people right now who are dealing with much harder things, but our viewpoint in our lens aren't going.
Judy Tsuei (00:13:52) - They're just looking at what's happening in the world right now. There are profound shifts that are happening, and people who are suffering and people who are going through monumental pain. So how can we, in this moment, honor where we are? Be grateful for where we are and find that optimal rate of success, which includes failure. It includes learning through making mistakes. One of my clients right now, who I'm working with, she's very clear and very articulate about the things that she wants, and this is because she made mistakes along the way in her journey, letting other people tell her what they thought was right, who they thought she should be, until she finally took the reins back and stood up for herself. This practice is for you to remind yourself of how much you've already done, who you already are, and that it will be an ever unfolding journey and process. And that as you become the leader, the impactful human being, the parental figure, the partner, whoever it is that you want to be, that you have the skill sets within you.
Judy Tsuei (00:15:04) - And by making small incremental changes that are sustainable, that help you feel alive and good in your heart and in your mind and in your body, that you can indeed create the shifts that you want to see. So finding a comfortable space. And maybe for you, that's out in nature. Maybe for you, that's going into your kid's room. For me, sometimes when my daughter is with her dad, I'll just go into a room and I'll soak up the energy. Maybe it's on your couch or in your bed. Maybe you're even listening to this while you're washing the dishes mindfully or in the shower. Wherever you are. However, you can bring all of your awareness. To this moment. And allow for the noises that are around you. Allow for the sensations that arise. Allow for it all. Letting these things come up, because it's a beautiful reminder that you are ready to handle and process if it's coming up in your awareness. It means that it's an opportunity to be celebrated, that you are ready to heal, to address, to look at these elements that may be prior to this had felt too scary to overwhelming to much.
Judy Tsuei (00:16:39) - And I invite you to connect to your breath. Letting your breath be this beautiful thread that you will weave throughout this mindfulness practice. And if thoughts come through. Coming back to your breath. If aches and pains come through. Coming back to your breath and imagining that you're sending that breath to those spaces with compassion, acceptance and love. Allowing yourself to feel more expanded, to feel more of that ease, that gentleness, that restorative ness and thatrillionelease. Can you come back? To this moment. Where you are breathing and you are present. And you are coming to this place of learning that you are where you are meant to be. That there are parts of you that feel behind parts of you that feel like things are moving too quickly. And right here in this moment, as you're listening to this mindfulness practice, it is a reminder that you are precisely where you need to be. That you have worked so hard and that you can allow the fruits of your labor to sink in now to come to you the rewards that you have been seeking to just pause and be in stillness so that you can bring all of those efforts to the here and now, and to revel for a moment, to celebrate for a moment you, in all of your incredible accomplishments, be they big or small.
Judy Tsuei (00:18:38) - Sometimes simply showing up is enough. Sometimes waking up and taking another step forward, sometimes doing the hard thing and caring for those around you and then learning to care for yourself. All of that is enough. So continue to come back to your breath. Come back to your heart centered space. My daughter listens to a podcast where they've rewritten fables and adapted them to modern times. And every now and again I will hear in the podcast the term oh great spirit from lineages all around the world calling forward. Oh great spirit. And every time I hear those words, I am reminded of the force, the universal, expansive, infinite force that is around us, operating every single second that we are alive. It has been operating from the beginning of time and ever after this amazingly great spirit. So connecting to your own definition of what that is. And seeing if there's something that you can offer to this great spirit to take for you. Is there a burden you've been carrying that you're ready to put down? Is there a wish or a hope that maybe you've been afraid to even ask for or acknowledge to yourself that you want? Is there some heart ache heartbreak that you would like to have healed? Asking your version of the Great Spirit to please help you with this now and I will be silent through a few cycles of breath for you to make that request now.
Judy Tsuei (00:20:59) - And when you feel complete with the request, bringing your hands to your heart center. Bowing your chin to your chest. In a moment of gratitude for being. Being grateful to yourself. Being grateful to all the forces seen and unseen. Who have protected you and kept you safe, even when you thought things were falling apart. That there are unending variables of how things could have turned out. And that even when we think that they're hard, there could have been harder. Just the same as when we think that they're good. There could be better. And simply taking a moment to be grateful for what it is that we do have. And then from there, surrendering and releasing any pressures that you've been putting on yourself. Any guilt or any shame? Any feelings of failure. Releasing that. And with every in-breath that you take from here until the end of this episode, and maybe even throughout the rest of your day, letting your breath continue to be that thread that you weave, that you're inviting in.
Judy Tsuei (00:22:28) - More compassion, more love, more acceptance, more forgiveness. More surrender. More release. And letting in. All of your light. Letting yourself be that channel. Of all the light that surrounds you and giving yourself permission to shine in the world. When you're ready, loosening up the muscles in your face, turning the corners of your mouth up into a smile. And gently floating your eyes open, coming back into whatever space that you're in. Thank you so much for joining me for today's practice. If you want to go deeper, you can go to wild hearted words.com/reality and get seven days of mindset shifts delivered directly to your inbox. It's completely free. It'll give you a sampling of how we can work together, or how you can take all of the lessons that I've gone through and curated and cultivated and created, and apply them into your own life, and let yourself experience some profound shifts that can be so simple. These practices are designed so that you can do them in ten minutes or less a day.
Judy Tsuei (00:24:07) - I'm a busy divorced parent. I totally get it. And. Simply know that you're not alone. I started this podcast for that reason alone, so that everybody could know that they're not alone. And in a lot of what I share, I try to be as open and honest as possible, because in being able to see someone else who's been where you've been, who's gotten to where you want to get to, who maybe is on a parallel journey with you, that you know that you're not weird or a misfit or just intolerable. Instead, you're you and you're human and you're wonderful. And I wish you the best week next week. In our podcast episode, you will be able to hear my interview with a real life princess. Until then. Have a wonderful day! Aloha! Thank you so much for listening to today's episode. If you'd like to support me and this show, please go to iTunes and leave your review. It means so much to me and it'll help others find this podcast. I'll catch you in the next episode, and if you'd like to stay in touch between now and then, please visit Wild Hearted Words and sign up for my weekly newsletter.
Judy Tsuei (00:25:27) - I've had people share with me that it's the best thing to arrive in their inbox all week. Aloha!
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Keywords: Judy Tsuei, Wild Hearted Words, strategic branding, content marketing agency, Saving Face podcast, daughter, soccer, learning, mistakes, growth, career developments, personal life, intuitive clarity session, sports, New York Public Library, LinkedIn, authenticity, divorce, debt, uncertainty, healthy relationship, Tory Burch Foundation fellow, surf mamas, coaching work, highly sensitive creative women, transformations, breakthrough session, compassion, love, acceptance, forgiveness, surrender, letting in light, gratitude, mindset shifts, busy divorced parent, podcast, open and honest sharing, not alone.
