EPISODE 26: LIVE IN LESS HUSTLE & MORE FLOW WITH VICTORIA JANE
MEET VICTORIA JANE
Victoria is a human design coach whose mission is to guide growth-oriented humans to live with less hustle and more flow. After a decade in Silicon Valley achieving everything she thought she was supposed to, Victoria was earthquaked into the harsh reality: she was burnt out and in danger of doing irreparable damage to her health. As she searched for how to heal not just her body, but her spirit, she discovered her design. Today, she is passionate about sharing Human Design with others so they can boldly live their truth.
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FULL TRANSCRIPT
For those of you who don't know, I'm kind of, “woo.” It wasn't encouraged or taught to me growing up, but I always felt like I had this really strong sense of intuition and it would show up when I would go to my friend's house across the street, we went to junior high together. And one day I was going over to her house.
Like I did every day after school. And as my hand is reaching for the door, nom, something within me, it felt like a. Palpable force was saying, stop, ring the doorbell. And I didn't listen to that intuition. It was so loud. And so I pause for a second, but then I opened the door anyways. So my friend's mom was in the middle of being upset with her.
And so when I walked in the door, I just happened to walk into that barrage. So then she started yelling at me and telling me like, don't walk into my house without knocking the door. You know, even though it's something that I'd done almost every day, every weekday for the last part of the year. So there was those moments.
There was when I was in college and I was working for different professors as my part-time jobs. And I would have to get a copy card to go make Xerox copies for them. And I could reach into the drawer and intuitively know which cards actually had money or credit on them. And if I didn't listen to my intuition, I would take the opposite card.
I would go down to the copy room, stick the card in the machine, and then I'd have no money on it. So then I'd have to go back. So small things like that, two really big moments of learning, how to trust in moving forward with this decision or this choice in my life. For example, moving to Kauai and. You know, that really did change my life in so many ways where I ended up meeting my husband.
I ended up getting pregnant and having my daughter. And then, you know, the story continues to unfold from there. So on Friday, we're going to dive into a mindfulness practice where you can learn how to connect more to your own sense of intuition.
Remember that there are however many people there are on the planet. That's how many paths to enlightenment there are. So this is not a one size fits all. This is a what's going to work for you. Okay. Take what you like leave the rest kind of situation for today's interview. We're going to be talking to Victoria. Jane. She's going to dive into what human design is. I really love the science and I love that you'll hear from her interview of how she was working in tech. She was burning herself out because she wasn't aligned to her design. She wasn't living according to what her design was. She was actually starting to experience severe health repercussions from that, but she had been trained as. A Chinese American kid, that this is what you're supposed to do.
And it wasn't until she really pursued an alternative way of being. That was really scary because that's not what she was taught was okay. That she really began to pursue all the things that she loves and finding her path and her purpose, which is amazing. I also love that she talks about how human design isn't meant to be this prescription of you must believe this it's.
And experiment, it's designed to be an experiment. Uh, let's see if these things that you learn actually work for you in your life. So give us interview a listen and let me know what you think. Oh, and one more thing, Victoria had just moved to Arizona when we did this interview. So her dog is in the background and her dog was a little bit anxious. So you'll hear it make a bit of an appearance throughout this podcast episode.
Welcome to the F*ck Saving Face Podcast. I'm your host, Judy Tsuei and together we'll explore mental and emotional health for Asian Americans, especially breaking through any taboo topics. Like may not always be pretty, but it is indeed beautiful. Let's make your story beautiful today.
Hello, welcome back to another episode of the F*ck Saving Face Podcast, where we explore all topics, taboo, or just really exciting, innovative things that maybe aren't part of the normal quote unquote Asian American conversation.
So today I'm so excited cause I have Victoria Jane here and she is a human design reader and coach. And I'm going to turn it over to her to talk about what human design is. But before I do that, I just want to share that. When I was living on Kauai, I met one of the like foremost, you know, readers or teachers for human design.
And I had never heard of it before. I didn't know there was this whole community around it, even on Island and they would get together and they would study different types of human design. So I went to this one session and I had my reading done. And I just remember for the first time in my life, I felt like liberated and had permission to be exactly who I am, because it was so clear and apparent in my human design that I was actually.
Made like that. That's why I think the way that I do or that's why it was, it was just so permissive. And, and I'm just hoping that out of the session, you know, people understand what human design is and any avenue or path that enables you to embrace who you are and to stop kind of judging and shaming yourself for the tendencies that you have.
And instead feel liberated to like, You know, own it and then use it to your advantage. Um, and I think that that's what a lot of human design from what I've learned and studied, and I'm a very, very much a novice at this. It was all about, but I'm going to turn it over to Victoria for you to share a bit about, you know, what human design is and how you got here to be this coach and reader.
Yeah. Okay. And also, just even before, I'd want to respond to what you just said as it relates to kind of. The broader context of this podcast, which is the Asian-American experience around like, so human design, I think of as a system that describes different types of people, how our energy works and then how to live in alignment and in flow with that.
And I think there's a lot within. At least like I'm Chinese American. So like in that experience of there's one path to success and like what that has to look like, and it's very homogenized, right? It's like one thing, this is like the one flavor of like what your life should look like and what I love about human designers.
Like actually there are at the most basic level, five different types of people. And then of course there's like billions of variations underneath that, but. We each have a different role to play and how we find ease success. Happiness is different. And so like so much of the advice that we get, like literally doesn't even apply to you sometimes.
And I love that because when I was teaching yoga too, I remember hearing this from someone who does deeksha, which is like, you know, unfolding the path to enlightenment. But when I interviewed this woman, she said, For however many people there are on the planet. That is how many paths to enlightenment there are.
And so it's a very individualized journey and I had never. Known that before, instead, just trying to like, get myself to fit into whatever, you know, we were told I was supposed to do, but yes, let's go into, um, you and your story. Yeah. So I, okay. So I found human design about four years ago at this point, prior to doing human design publicly, which I've been doing for a little over a year at this point, I.
Was working in tech and in business, uh, did like the MBA thing, very sort of traditional, I guess, like professional track. Um, I grew up in California and, you know, academics were always a big thing with my parents. And so that was kind of just like the path that I was following. And I was, I was okay. I mean, I've found success through it, but I started having health issues in like 2017 and it was this.
This inner sense. I couldn't articulate at the time, but like, I've just struggling so hard to keep up with everyone and seeing that, like all of the people around me, like seemingly liking what they were doing a lot more than me. And I was just like showing up every day, like giving it my all and then coming home and totally crashing.
So it got to the point where, you know, my health journey really at the time was tough, but was such a gift because it. Forced me to realize like, Oh, it's actually not normal. When you burn through all of your hormones and lose your period and aren't sleeping. Like that's probably like, you're probably out of alignment.
Right? So that kind of was a wake up call that eventually got me to very slowly, like loosen my tight grip on like what my identity had to be and like what my career had to be in a lot of that stuff. And human design was a really big piece and actually. Accepting that about myself because, and we'll get more into the basics of the system, but I am a projector and you're a generator.
And the thing about projectors is that our energy, it's not that we don't have energy. I want to be clear. That's like a common misconception, but that our energy doesn't replenish in the same way as 70% of the population like generators and manifesting generators. And so for me, it was just this huge kind of exhale of relief.
It's like, Oh, There's nothing wrong with me that I'm not keeping up in the same way as other people, but I'm actually just meant to do life a little differently. Yeah. That's wonderful. And I think that, that is exactly like that moment that you're describing of like, Oh, that's why, you know, I am feeling these feelings and like, you know, Experiencing this.
And I think everything ultimately is a journey to self-awareness and self-discovery. And so this is one of those habits that can get you there. You were talking about how you are Chinese American and that you kind of pursue the traditional path that so many of us do. I think I like kind of quote unquote again, broke my parents early on because I was like, I'm going to be an English major.
And they're like, what the heck are you doing? Yeah. You know, like they're going to Berkeley and doing what I think they were stoked that I went to Berkeley because like that was like, ah, you like made it to there. And then I was like, you know what, I'm going to do a liberal arts major. And then what are you gonna do with your life?
So. You know, how was this like that kind of pivotal crux point where I imagine that you had to shed a lot of stories that you'd been told about what you could and couldn't do to especially pursue this path into human design, which is very much yeah. Like what is it? Yeah. And I think that's still ongoing.
Like, I am still kind of fronting new layers of what to shed. But, but I can look back like from where I am now to at least like, you know, now minus like two to three years ago and see that initial round of shedding and. The big thing for me was like, there had been such a deep conditioning growing up for me of like being smart was like the way to be loved.
Right. And it's funny that you say like you got into Berkeley and then you're like, okay, like made it there. Like I got into Berkeley and also went there for undergrad, but then it felt like such a failure because like all these kids in my high school class went to Harvard and I might sound like, and then I look back now.
I'm like, Oh my God. It's just like, ease up on yourself a little. But, but so the big kind of like. Shadow thing for me was feeling like I was just always this like internal sense of shame of like, Oh, I'm never going to be smart enough. I'm dumb. Right. This like the fear of being labeled as dumb was just like constantly chasing me through every thing that I was grasping for.
And so even up until like, I would say. Essentially like the last year before I left tech, it was a constant internal struggle of like, I got to just keep doing, because that's the only way I could feel worthy. So that was a big thing to shed of like actually being okay with like, if people think I'm dumb, like that's not the end of the world, which sounds like so simple to say, but that wasn't my internal nervous system experience.
Like my internal nervous system would like light up on fire, like with the thought of that, you know? So. That took a lot of just like various kinds of healing work, you know, uh, meditating and therapy and reprogramming and blah, blah, blah, journaling, all these things. And then once I, and I think, like I said, it's still ongoing, but once I was able to.
Detach a meaningful proportion of my worth from that there is enough space to start to think about something different. And another big piece of the journey for me was also, like I mentioned my health stuff. Like it got to the point where I took some medical leave actually. And doing that, like proved to my brain that like, Oh, you can kind of like hop off the track.
And it was, it was like just enough. I was like one foot off, but there was still a little bit of a safety net. Like I could go back. And I took one foot off and then I was like, wait, like, I'm still like, I'm still here. I'm still me, you know? And that also helped a lot. How did you even discover human design in the first place?
I, you know, I've always had this one. Like there's been this sort of like achiever part of me, but I've also always had this like hippie side. I had been deeper into manifestation and things like that. And there's a part of the human design chart that speaks to whether you're somebody who does better with being really strategic about like what you put on your list versus more.
Surrendered and kind of like open-handed in terms of, Oh, like I just, you know, I want to move, but it could be just anywhere warm or something like that. And so that's where it first came up the context. And then of course I learned about, you know, my basic like type strategy authority, and that made a ton of sense.
And so I kept, I just kept, Hmm, that's awesome. Well, let's dive into it. So like, what is human design? Yeah. So human design takes four different systems. Uh, the chakra system, the Kabbalah, the astrology, and then the eating and smashes them all together as well as brings in some quantum physics, like the idea of neutrinos, like subatomic particles.
In printing us and smashes it all together in this chart that speaks to how your energy works. What's the best way to navigate life and what to listen to in terms of making decisions. So essentially like what your intuition is, and there are different kinds of surprise surprise. So I see all of it as being essentially a way to get more in alignment with how you are naturally designed to live like.
Some people are meant to pursue just what excites them and gives them energy, which is. Your case is a generator. Some people are here to see kind of the energy around them and then guide and tweak it, which is what projectors are all about. Or you could be a manifestor and the overall purpose there is to actually just like do whatever it is you want to do, because you're actually paving the way for something new for the rest of us.
Um, so those are some examples. And what are the other two types? Yeah. And then the last two types are manifesting generators. So this is a kind of a hybrid between that consistent, like I'm here to build and create things, generator energy, plus this kind of dash of quickness. So manifesting generators have this hybrid purpose of creating and building, whatever it is that they're really excited to do, but it comes together in sort of this nonlinear.
Often like multi passionate way. So like Tony Robbins is an example of an MG where it's like, Oh yeah, I think it's like self development, but there's like a hundred things that he actually does underneath that. And then the last type is reflectors and they're the most rare, they're about 1% of the population and their chart is unique in that.
And you can pull up your chart for free. We can put a link for where to do that. But usually people have a combination of colored in shapes and white shapes. And this is where the centers, the chakra piece comes from. Reflectors are all white. So they're taking in energy from everything around them. And then.
Really reflecting it back to the people around them. So they're kind of like the they're like able to take in the wisdom and process it from the world and then teach everybody else how we are really all one moving us toward unity consciousness. They're very specialty. That's really funny. Um, I posted about human design on my Instagram and one of my friends reached out to me.
She's like, I'm a reflector. I'm like, you are, that's so rare, but it's funny because. Everybody can go online and then, you know, we'll include a link and then you can find what your chart is. But after the chart comes back, it looks very complex. Like it's like a human body with all these like portals, it looks like, so it might be hard to kind of discern.
And that's why we have Victoria here to help. But one of the things that was funny that I found being Asian-American growing up with that overachieving mentality is when I found out I was a generator. I'm like, that's it? Yeah. Special, which is really funny that that was like my default kind of response that I wanted to be like exceptional, like a plus or something.
So how does one, you know, I know that when you go online and you want to find your chart, you get your birthday and your time and your place, and you put all that in there, but can you tell us about like the founder and how he created this? Yeah. So the founder of human design, his name is sorry about my dog.
So he, his name is Robert who he's Canadian. He channeled late eighties, basically like sat down and went into this state and just like it downloaded over the course of like, I dunno, like a little over a week. And yeah, it's, it's an interesting origin story. Some people are like, I don't know, but so you can decide whether or not you want to take that in what I usually like to say is nothing about human design asks you to believe anything.
It's actually really just such an experiment. So I think it's interesting. This idea of like downloads. And I think as people move more into the spiritual realm, that it can be, you know, kind of weird to think about. But similarly, when I became a Reiki practitioner and just the sense of understanding that you can channel energy through the palms of your hands and help people heal or move that energy, it was really interesting because that was similarly the story of someone, you know, getting downloaded with this information and how weird that.
Might seem. So I think that one of the things that I love about human design and, you know, so much of the spiritual journey is. It's great to have this information and it's vital and essential that you apply it in ways that you can see whether or not it works for you. And because each of us is designed so differently that I used to say that a lot when I was teaching to like, take what fits for you and then just let go of the rest.
And then what fits for you right now might shift eventually. But I think I remember during Jenna, Zoe, which is how I found out about you in the first place that one of the things that she had said is it's called the human design. Experiment for a reason that means taking these philosophies and ideas and you try it out and you see, and I don't think that that's a very pull Asian like you do you let me I'll let me, let me just see without expectations of what the outcome is going to be, or, you know, how.
I was just saying that in my family of origin, it was really essential for us to like, be an expert right away. Like you just had to know how to do it. Nobody's at best, you'll be a failure. Exactly. Which is why when I started learning how to surf, it was so hard because first of all, you're dealing with a completely unknown element that's perpetually changing in the ocean.
And then also like, It's not like you're surfing in a space where no one's going to see you. Right. Right. Plenty of other people around watching you saw over and over and over again. And it was like mortifying and like a terrible feeling. And I just had to keep hitting that wall. So I love that you're on this path and I love that this is what you're doing.
So once someone, you know, Goes and finds out what their human design is. What are some of the other things, because as I've learned about it, I can see that, you know, there are things about how your human design can inform what you eat and how you digest. It can inform again, like where you are supposed to live.
I had a human design. I had the same person who read my design when my daughter was born, read hers. And he was saying like, you know, your daughter is not meant to live in this climate. Here on this Island. So like, she's not going to be hard. I can't remember exactly. I need to go back through and listen to it, but it was like human environments were not good for her, which was interesting because now we're dealing with her having active mold in her body that we have to like clear out because we've lived in a lot of human places.
We lived in Hawaii, we lived in Taiwan, so, okay. Yeah. Yeah. She's like, is she like a dry kitchens person? I think so. I think I remember that. And then also the humidity thing I'm like, Oh yeah. And that she also needs to eat, like to her digestion would be best if she ate one thing at a time like that one is, I talked a lot about that.
That's hard. Um, you know, and again, it's like a matter of trying it out, but I also, you know, upon knowing that, and just having that in the back of my head, watching the way that she eats and just her natural tendencies without outside influence. Often aligned to like what it was that she, what her no sign and design was.
Yeah. So once someone figures out like, you know, what kind of sign they are, what are some of the other things that human design can help with? Oh my gosh. Well, to go back to what you were saying around experimenting, like. I always say, like, we we've all done something where it feels like a struggle, like a slug, right.
It's like, okay, I'm just going to keep pushing at this job or I'm going to do this thing. Cause it sounds like the right thing to do, everyone was telling me is a great idea. And like, maybe even we get some success or recognition from it, but it was just like really hard. Right. And then there's times when we do things and it just like clicks and flows and it's amazing.
And there's synchronicities and like, Those are that's the contrast, right? Where if you're following your designs, whether it's in, I guess it's the sand you're following your design, whether it's in relationship, interacting with people career, or just like smaller daily things like your food or whatever.
There can be the sense of depending on the T on the type that you are, satisfaction, peace, success, just like delight at life and a sense of overall ease, right. And a flow versus. That struggle. So I know that's like a very general answer, but I truly feel like also it's because human design can apply to all of our life.
Just to get a little more specific, like I think like about all the major categories in life relationships work. Right. And following your design can take all of that spin that mental has been out of it because nobody's authority or your intuition, how you make decisions is your mind in human design.
Like there's, if there's this idea that, you know, our minds are, we live in a very thinking society where it's like, Oh, just like pro-con list it. Right. But. Human design really speaks to, there are these other parts of our energy that are so intelligent and know faster often than our brains do. And so what I hear from my clients all the time is especially from generators and MGs, like, Oh, when I just go with my gut, like, or whatever your authority is, it's just so much simpler.
And like, it can feel scary because a lot of us have been. Raise to ignore that part of ourselves, or maybe we just, or suppress it or just told that it's not right. And that that's scariest. We've got to experiment with it, but then you can try it and see how things feel. Right. And that's, that's the, you being your own authority part, which I think is.
Very much to bring it back to kind of where we are in 2021 and just the state of the world today, a lesson that we're all learning of, like how to tune into our own inner truth and trust it as the external world and things that we used to rely on are just changing and maybe not as reliable as they used to be.
Hmm. And I love this idea of intuition because I think that that's definitely something that's not taught in Asian families is to like, trust your center and trust, like what's right for you. It's instead, a lot of like yielding to, you know, the external people around you yielding to like expectations that you have.
So learning how to trust your intuition can be really scary. And I think one of like the first stuff, I like that it's called authority in human design too. It's like, you know, your own inner authority. And one of the ways that we can do that too, is just even getting like a sense. Self, like, so understanding, like when we feel things in our bodies, what does it relate to?
Like what emotion, when we feel an emotion, where is it in our bodies? And when we have those like, kind of like gut instincts that like, this is not right or like that this is something that's like, so right. And I can't validate and justify why, where you feel that in your body too. And there is an optometrist named Dr. Jacob Liberman and he wrote a book that was all about how. You know, we think intuition is so rude, but there is like science behind it in the fact that our eyes are processing so much information all the time and our brains don't have the capacity to keep up with the speed at which this information is coming to us.
So in order for us to just function as human beings, we need to part and parcel out like what's essential and what's not, but that is why we have that like, kind of sense sometimes of knowing something before we actually know it because. Somehow that information's come to us. And if we can just start to like practice that and rely upon that it can be such a wonderful, you know, game essentially that you play.
And like, you can have fun. I think that, that's the other thing about this, like, you know, thinking about it being an experiment is that I was not taught how to play. I don't know about you. Yeah. Put a play was like a big word for 2020. Like how do I have fun? Yes, exactly. Yeah. And, and I see it in my daughter all the time, or she wants me to play.
And then I just kinda like sit there and stare at her. Cause I was like, I don't really know what to do. Can we do like an activity, like a science experiment? So, you know, I think that that's another opportunity. If anybody wants to explore their human design is to really have the element of play like Hmm.
And, you know, correct me if I'm wrong, but is there a right and wrong or is there just continual fine tuning in like, you know, as you start to live by your design, can you ever like, get it wrong or like Oh, interesting. Well, okay. So there's this term in human design called self. So actually before I even get it to that, I'll just say.
I want to step, I want to step away from the right wrong thing, because if we're approaching it like an experiment, right. It's like, there's no wrong. There's just learning experiences. Yeah. Like the idea that you could like mess up your design, it's like something about that language. I'm like, no, no, I don't want to perpetuate that.
Exactly. There is this idea of what's called the not self and it's just a human design vocab term for when you're not really in alignment with your design. So each of the types that we touched on, there's a feeling you get when you're. Living your strategy and authority. So for example, for generators, it's like when you feel the energy in your gut and you're letting that guide what you say yes to, and also what you say no to then there's this.
Oh, cool. I'm just using my energy for all the things that I love doing, and it's really enjoyable. And then you feel satisfied, right? The opposite of that, that not self feeling is frustration. So, um, and I'd be curious if like, You know, there's anything that comes up for you, but like this sense of, Hey, I have all this energy and I'm not using it towards the things I want.
You it's getting like backed up somehow it can be kind of irritating. Or I also know a lot of generators that they just feel like so low energy when like that's not really that, right. It's like, Oh, I am doing all these things. And I feel so run down, even though you could be doing twice as much stuff, it was.
If it was really something you were excited about. Oh, I was actually just thinking about that last night when I put my daughter down to bed. So she goes to bed between like, you know, eight 30 or whatever, and then I'm just like, I'm exhausted. I'm just going to go to bed instead of feeling like, Oh, I'm super energized and exactly what you're saying.
You know, I think when I started diving more into my generator generator type and realizing, like, I know that people say that there's a gray still between, you know, Whatever feelings or like things that you want or whatever. But it was interesting to learn that for me, it actually should be binary. It should be like yes or no.
And if it's a yes, it's a hell. Yes. And to like move forward in that. But if it's, if it's not a hell yes, then it's a no. And to learn how to set healthy boundaries based on that, I really liked the idea of like, You know, I think we all know that we're supposed to set healthy boundaries and like, whatever, but especially in my family of origin, like we weren't taught how to do that.
In fact, in my own house. And I, I say this to people all the time, we weren't allowed to shut the door and there were definitely no locks on the doors. So, and then even with like my parents, marriage and all of their troubles and challenges, it was always like just out in the open and there was no. Now laundry that we could have.
And so learning to start setting those boundaries was a new thing, but also learning it from this perspective of it's just a binary. Yes or no. So it doesn't have to have all of that, like attachment of like explanation justifying like, well, this is why I have to say no, it's just a note. It's just a no.
Yeah. And then that back that like, You know, as a generator. I think what I understand is that we are supposed to go out there and do things like that's just by the term generator, like we're going out there and doing things, but only when it's aligned in that like, hell yes, kind of fashion, because, but in order to just learn that we have to actually step back and just wait for opportunities to come to us.
And then from there, say yes or no, which is completely like. No, no, no, no, no. Like that means that I'm just gonna like, be lazy, like similar to you about being afraid that you were not smart enough. My thing was being afraid that I was going to be lazy and like lazy and selfish. And I feel like a lot of times when I sit there and.
You know, it's like, I actually had this conversation recently where, you know, it was a Sunday, we were watching a movie and then I sat there and I looked at my partner and I said, I'm feeling increasingly anxious. And I can't handle it. Like, Oh my God, do you need to go do something, break the habit of doing it for no reason.
Well, yeah. Also in your chart specifically, um, cause you have a defined route which connects to your safe girl and people who have this there's this. So when you have a defined group, the energy is. You can put pressure on yourself. You want to be making progress. You want to have, you have this innate momentum.
Right? And so that can be, which is such a gift, right? You can be a self-starter, but the shadow side is, Oh, nothing's happening right now. I'm really restless. I'm really bummed out. There must be something wrong because I'm not doing something, but you can't be starting things all the time. So to sit in that discomfort, like I actually, I have a similar thing.
And I remember, like in my early twenties, I was like, you know, first job out of school didn't know what I was going to do with my life. And I applied to like all these grad programs and like other like fellowships just to do something and I didn't do any of it, but it was like, you know, it was like, Oh, I just need to be moving forward somehow.
Yeah. See, and I love that. I think this is why I like human design so much as like, you can just take this information and it, I feel like maybe what it is is the judgment is like, let go of like all the interpretation and the meaning behind it. And instead it's just, here's some information for you. How do you want to use the information?
And I like the understanding of, you know, the not self so that you can start to learn more about like, Oh, that's what it feels like when things are not aligned for me. And then also just this understanding that like, I'm kind of like a science of you. It's like the science of you just human change over time.
Like, you know, other people intuitives who read like. Tarot cards or, you know, I actually think we're kind of in the middle of that happening right now, because. You know, Ra, he, he kind of like, he channeled the system and then he taught this like first wave of people who are now I don't, I don't want to age them, but they're like, you know, they were around as adults, like in the nineties and early two thousands.
And now what I think. You. And I see with people like Jenna Zoe, or just like on Instagram, all of these folks is what feels like a new wave of human design folks. And so it's not that, I mean, obviously human design hasn't been around as long as astrology, so there's been more time to interpret, but I think there's a lot of new interpretation and also melding of other modalities with human design that's happening right now.
Where like, when I look at people who like the guy that you learned from in Hawaii or some other folks in this space, A lot of them are very like, this is what Ra said and like we're sticking to it. Right. Um, for example, even like with your daughter being a consecutive appetite, eating literally one thing at a time right now, when I look at the students that I teach or my colleagues, mistakes, there are people who are like, cause that's the amazing thing about technology, right?
It's like, Oh, I can literally document like what I'm eating for lunch every day to see. And I see people with consecutive appetite that are like, this is really hard. Like it's crazy. I'm not going to separate myself from my whatever else you're eating. I don't like. Potato, right. I'm actually having potstickers today.
And like, yeah, technically it's not one ingredient, but it feels a lot simpler than, you know, a salad with 20 ingredients. And this is how it's working for me and actually just sharing each person's individual experiment. So that's kind of where I see human design going. And so it's not really like a changing of the basic information so much as just.
People sharing their experience of these archetypal energy, right? Because like you're a generator, but so are. Many many other people and they all experienced their generator energy in slightly different ways. Yeah. That's a really good point. So when you know your human design, um, not only can you start self navigating in a great way, but then it can apply to relationships.
It can apply to. Your digestion, your eating, it can apply to where you're living climates. It can apply to the work that you're doing, like pace and schedule, I would say. Yeah. That's awesome. And then parents. Yeah. I mean, you can, you can speak to that, right? Because I think that. The key thing that human design really brings, I think to the conversation of parenting is this shift from like, and this ties back to Asian culture too, of like, I'm the adult.
I know what's best for you too. Oh, you are your own design. How can I support just you being you? Right. And I think even RA has said. Yeah, I'm teaching you adults right now, but really this is for the kids, because imagine if you could raise your kids in alignment with tuning into their own intuition, making sovereign decisions for themselves, feeling what's true in their system.
And. How many, fewer years of therapy they probably have to go to. And it's not easy. I think that no external circumstances are always going to change your relationships will change. Um, but I just think that like the more there is that saying, like, you know, know better do better, which I always like to like add a little caveat of like, Even though you might know better.
You're not always going to do better all the time. Like we have habitual patterns and like, you know, but at least you may not be responsible for your first thought, but you are responsible for your next one. So at least like with the next one, you know, I heard that from like a yoga class and that's always stuck with me because I was like, Oh, that feels so much more compassionate that like, We are who we are and all of the imprints that we've had.
And at least like, we're just making those micro steps towards the right direction. What does your family say about what you're doing now? Honestly, they're just like, I don't even think they understand, but they're like, we don't really get it. So they vaguely know that I like coached people and they're kind of like, that's just kind of like where we've left it, you know, it's like I can send sometimes when they get curious about like, Are you okay.
You know, like from that point of view, but I don't know, maybe it's maybe it's the own work that I've done or just like that we're both older now, but there certainly isn't the same kind of, I know that I don't get as triggered as I would have, like 10 years ago around, like, what are you doing with your life?
And I think as they've gotten older too, there they've been much more allowing, like, for example, this isn't work-related, but. I was telling you earlier, like I just moved with my dog and like, it's, she's kind of getting used to the new routine and my mom was texting me and she was like, well, you know, if you need a break, like, feel free to like hire a dog Walker.
And I was like, you're encouraging me to take breaks. You know? So like, I, yeah, it's hard to pinpoint like when that shifted, but I think it's. There's just a lot more space and this mutual understanding that like, maybe you don't have to get it and that's okay. You know, so both like they're not praying and like I'm not hurt.
Oh, that's beautiful. I think that, that was the other thing that I learned. Um, and I have three younger siblings, so it's been interesting to watch each of our dynamics like shifting evolve. But you know, one of the things that I realized is that for a very long time, I was trying to manipulate all the external circumstances and my parents or whatever, to like.
Heal and fix and be right in order for me to finally feel at peace. And then as I started to embarking on my spiritual path and like becoming a yoga teacher and doing all these other things that really felt aligned for me, I stopped having that expectation and I just kept changing like who I was and how I was showing up.
And I noticed that. My external circumstances changed because by pure like physics of it, I'm no longer the same person. So everybody else around me has to somehow accommodate or navigate because our dynamic is now different. And I think that, you know, if anybody out there is struggling with these kinds of like really hardcore templates that, you know, I'm not, I totally will say, like I am now 42 and we'll still be triggered by like my parents, like saying something or doing something.
But I think that. It is so much more, I don't know if it's like easeful, but it's, it just feels so much better to just focus on like shifting yourself and then watching the domino effect that can happen around you when you do that. And I think that that's why, you know, what it is that you're doing in your creating is giving people kind of like the pathway or the instruction manual to start to learn how to do that and then watch everything else around shift.
One of the things that I wanted to ask you too, is. How do you feel now that you've embarked on this path of being a human design coach compared to what you were doing before, you know, when you were living the life that you thought you were supposed to be living? Hm. Yeah. Wait, I want to respond to what you were saying earlier, too, about like the shift with your parents.
I think a key piece of it has also been like, as I live my design more and more, I feel, I feel like I've taken more ownership of. Like what feels like success. So I guess it's kind of answering both questions, but for projector that the signature feeling of success, if like, Oh, we can see. How like the solutions to things systems like we want to make a contribution.
Right. And so it's like when we're really offering guidance in the way that projectors are meant to, then there's this feeling of like, Oh, I'm seeing and I'm appreciated. And so as I've gotten more of that, there's been less of that inner child, resentment of like, Hmm, like this isn't how I want it to be, you know?
And like, and, and not placing that power outside of myself as like, well, you know, These expectations set me up to be like, you know, achieving in like a fucked up way or whatever to now, like, okay. I can tune into myself and follow my own path. And then to the second part of the question, so how does it feel now?
Gosh. You know, it's still like, and so like, you would think like if you'd asked me like, you know, a year and a half ago, I would have imagined like, Oh, everything's just going to be like, so perfect. Yeah. Wonderful. And like amazing all the time. And like, there are so many moments, of course, I'm, I'm so grateful and it's so rewarding when I work with, with clients and, you know, they tell me like this reading changed my life and like coaching clients that are, that feel connected to their own your sense of their truth and are willing to act on it and like, I'm still a human and I'm still, you know, with an ego that gets like pushed on you, layers of things come up.
And so, uh, in that sense, I guess it hasn't been maybe what I would have guessed that like, There's just, there's another layer that I've discovered, you know? Oh yeah. Oh gosh. Like the layers as you evolve, there's like a whole other thing that coach clients, what do clients come to you, you to work with?
Yeah. You know, it's, it's really just so dependent on the person. Like I have some people who have come for love, so they're like, Hey, I know my design and I'm starting to date. And like, what does that look like? Or. I want a date, but I don't even know how to do that in a way. That's not grasping for others.
It's been career. So people in times of transition, like I had one woman who she was also in tech and then let go of at her work and it was traveling and she's like, wait, I really want to be an artist. Like, can I do that? It's like, okay. Yes, you can. Like, you're a, manifestor like, let's, let's figure that out.
And then there were all the layers of, as we all have or around like, You know, she really grew up in like another family where it's like, you have, everyone is really academic and like how to actually let go of that identity and step into her manifestor power. I mean, so there's career stuff. Um, I have another, like another woman who's an mg and she's also going through her own, like, should I sell my company or not?
And like, you know, tuning into the authority there, like, what is the gut say? But there's, it's not just that. And this is why I really see. Human design is like the template that I use for coaching, right. Because a lot of coaches that are just like, Hey, this is what worked for me. So like, let me tell you, right.
But what human design teaches is that we each have a different way of navigating the world. And so I like using that as a template for, okay. In this case, this woman is an mg, like should be following her gut, doing a lot of different things that excite her. Uh, but. We're seeing all these additional pieces of story around, well, I have to be the provider.
I need to, you know, take care of my inner child and like create security in this way or whatever. So those are some examples. I know those they're kind of like all over. No, I liked that. I liked that understanding too, that you're using it as like, kind of like an overarching umbrella so that people can then navigate their own way.
So that's wonderful. Yeah. Yeah. And I, I mean, I pull in as, as we all do, like everyone has their own kind of blend of modalities. Like I'm pulling in my experience with the nervous system and my yoga background and. Subconscious reprogramming. So those are all pieces that I weave in, in addition to the human design.
Yeah, that's wonderful. I mean, I remember like studying Chinese medicine and learning like, well, the practitioner becomes part of the healing journey because it's such a subjective, like science and art. And so. The person that you're going to see inevitably plays a role. So it's not like just like a hard and fast that's it.
So as we're getting ready to close the interview, I wanted to ask you the question that I asked everybody, which is this idea of fuck saving face. Like if you had one thing to say to someone, you know, what would you say about like those, you know, molds that we've grown up with, or what's something that you wish that people would know, especially given everything that you've learned in the journey that you've done so far with human design?
it's funny. Cause I like the idea of saving face is actually not something that like personally has been this thing that's kept me smaller. Like I guess I just don't think about life in those terms, but as you were saying it now, I felt it kind of land in this way where I was like, Oh, maybe right. Maybe I did experience that.
But it was more like for myself of like not wanting. Like not wanting to admit to myself that I couldn't live up to this expectation that I had said, you know, so what would I say to somebody who's kind of like on the edge and like wants to take, but is scared. It's going to, it's going to feel scary.
There's no point where it doesn't stop feeling scary. And so the best thing you can do is tune into yourself and you'll know when the time is right. And then you just go for it and move through. And with the fear. I love that. I love being reminded that like I was just reading a Glennon Doyle book that the most beautiful truest life is not an easy one.
So we have to give up the lie that it's supposed to be. And I think that that is a thing too, is like, I think that we have this perception. Well, if it's right, then we're not going to be scared. That's not true. Yeah. I've been sitting with that one recently as well. Yes. And you know, in the end, I think it's about like, yeah.
The discerning, the wisdom, the ability to start differentiating between like fear. Like this is a bad thing or fear of like, no, this is what I really want, but it's scary because. I actually really want it. And I think that I just wanted to add one more thing is that as I was saying that I just recently did a meditation where it said your brain, the way that it works, because we were talking about, you know, the neural programming and whatnot, is it places, the goals and the things that you want and like three different lanes.
So there's the inevitable, conditional and impossible. And what's interesting is that usually what happens. Is we put the things that we really, really want in the impossible category and the things that we really, really don't want in the inevitable category. So if we can start to like negotiate and understand where we feel it in our bodies, when we're feeling that, and then, you know, Using mindfulness activities to start moving the goals that we want into the right lanes that they belong in, then it can help us, you know, move forward in life.
And so I really liked that understanding of like, if you really want something like check and see. What lane you're like sticking. Yeah. You never heard about that before. That's really interesting. I like that. Cause I'm like, Oh yeah, I definitely do that. Sometimes I write the like terrible things in the inevitable category when, you know, when I'm less resources.
Yeah, exactly. And so now, if anybody wants to follow up with you to get a reading, to do some coaching or just to learn more about what it is that human design is, where can they find you? Yeah. So my website is Victoria jane.co, and you can sign up for my email list. It also links out to my Instagram, or if you just want to pop straight there.
And at Victoria Jane.HD, yeah. Feel free to reach out. I'd love to connect. You can follow to learn more bits and pieces about human design, or we can do a reading and, yeah, it's great to just have more people on the journey in this kind of design experiment. Well, the founder, didn't he say that like, if we all live by our design, we would change the world because everybody would just be so much more happy and like, Aligned like going after the things in the ways that are meant to be an and I think that what's interesting is from like a global society perspective, too, that if we all did live by our design, it would create a healthier society because.
All the parts that need to be filled would be filled by the people who right. Exactly. Exactly. And this actually gets it like sometimes a lot of people who are first experimenting or even like, well into their experiment. There's this fear of like, well, I can't like, just do what I want because like, That would be too easy or like then every, everyone could just have fun.
What, and there's all these lines that we've been told. Right. But it's actually, when we look at human design, it's like, don't worry. Like there are 70% of the population is a generator. That's all we need. So like, just do what lights you up. We got, you know, the other proportions of people to fill those roles too.
I love that. Let's like go back to the idea too of you and I have both had to learn how to have fun. But it's not a bad thing and it's not a bad thing. If things feel easy too. I think that just in American culture too, we've been taught like the hustle and the grind, like that's where you matter. And that's where things, you know, mean the most, but it doesn't necessarily have to be like that.
Let's change that idea to yay. Thank you so much. I'm so excited for everybody to learn more about what it is that you do. Thanks. Yeah. Thanks for having me on. For those of you who like today's episode and are curious about what a human design reading session could be like. You can hear my session with Victoria where it's completely unfiltered and you'll gain an insight into my personal psyche by supporting us on patrion.com for slash fuck saving face and you'll get access to this premium content.
Also, if you're curious about the HD coaching certification that she's now offering applications are now available until May 28th, 2021. And the HDCC is perfect for any kind of entrepreneur or coach who wants to use human design to support your clients in helping to live more in flow. So if you're curious about that, you can go to fuck saving face.com forward slash podcast and find the episode featuring Victoria.
And there are links in there for you to sign up. I'll see you on Friday for our mindfulness practice, where we learn how to connect to our own intuition.
