EPISODE 54: [MINDFULNESS] HOW TO HANDLE ECO-GRIEF
SHOW NOTES
Join me in today’s Mindfulness Practice as we use meditation to manage our feelings, especially when there’s so much to worry about in the world in the current day.
Get the kind of relief and healing that you need. Find a comfortable space and join me in this Episode.
We also explore:
Photographer Chris Jordan
Think Like A Monk by Jay Shetty
FULL TRANSCRIPT
Judy Tsuei 0:06
Welcome to the F*ck Saving Face podcast. I'm your host, Judy Tsuei, and together we'll explore mental and emotional health for Asian Americans, especially breaking through any taboo topics. Life may not always be pretty, but it is indeed beautiful. Let's make your story beautiful today.
Judy Tsuei 0:23
I think that as a culture, we're not really taught how to navigate grief, one of my friends told me that she lost her father. And when she did, she felt so utterly alone in that experience, because people didn't know how to address it with her. Then I spoke with another grief expert, who went into the field after she lost her husband, and then was there at her friend's side when he was dying. And she's really shared how as a collective group, society culture, we just don't really know how to hold this heaviness and this difficulty or to relate or support someone else going through that.
Judy Tsuei 1:00
Photographer Chris Jordan said that grief is a felt experience of love for something we are losing or have lost. And when you think about that, with the things that are happening on the planet, as we've seen over the last year, two years, you know, the last decade, it can be really difficult to handle the Eco grief that we experience. You might be feeling fear, anxiety, anger, sorrow, you might be going through trauma, which I'll address in a future episode and interview with a trauma expert and therapist, you might be, you know, feeling this sense of heaviness, watching the devastating impacts of the climate, the climate chaos on people and places on all living beings, because this planet is our home. And this is our shared home.
Judy Tsuei 1:51
So similar to the grief that we might experience in losing a friendship or relationship, a loved one, there's a common tendency to turn away from it, because it's pain and turning away from it is a way that we can protect ourselves. But grief and love are woven together. So similar to you might have heard this in therapy, where when you try to shut out all of the bad feelings, you're simultaneously shutting out all of the good feelings to that in order to feel the good, you also have to open yourself up to the vulnerability of, you know, the drawbacks of getting hurt or experiencing the negative repercussions when you're disappointed or whatever that might be.
Judy Tsuei 2:32
A lot of Western culture teaches that pain is dysfunctional, that it's a problem that something's gone wrong. But it's actually just the price of being human. It's a natural thing that we experience. And when we allow for it to process through us, if we are part of the belief that we're all beings in a shared fabric of humanity, then when we heal ourselves, we help collectively heal the world. We are all interdependent. There's a book that I'm publishing with Simon and Schuster, that is about the Tibetan rites and how so much of Buddhist philosophy in Eastern philosophy is about this collective interdependence that we have among one another, and with this planet that we live on.
Judy Tsuei 3:17
So this planetary crisis, you know, throughout this week, we've been talking about sustainability. And even the pandemic, it could be an opportunity to birth a new consciousness. And it starts with understanding that we all have this common fate. And if we can create more common shared intentions of doing the best that we can to help navigate this world, for ourselves, for those we love, and for even for the strangers around us, that we could truly help heal the world. But we can't do any of that when we are in a fight or flight state when we are in the sympathetic nervous system instead of the parasympathetic nervous system, which is the place of rest and digest.
Judy Tsuei 3:59
And it's only when we have that balanced clarity and the ability to feel firm in our power that we can really make the kind of difference that we want to see in the world. So today's practice will focus on the breath. It's one way that we can help us get into that parasympathetic space, so that we can be in that calm, and you know, to be reminded of how truly powerful we are. And that while our mind and our ego might be in a fear state, that actually there's a greater part of ourselves that's energetic, that's all connected that can tap into that universal source of energy around us.
Judy Tsuei 4:35
And as I've mentioned before, in Jay Shetty, his book, Think Like A Monk, he talks about his experience that one of the first things that he learned in going to the ashram was how vital it was to connect to your breath. And if you can connect to that which is worth you all of the time, and to use it as this thread to move away from stress into a more stable grounded presence. Then you do have the power To choose with intention, your next thought, your next action and how you want to show up.
Judy Tsuei 5:05
One of my favorite mindfulness practices when I was working at the mindfulness app in LA, is the idea of loving kindness of metta, and of tapping into those inner states of compassion. So the breath can help lead you there. It can help lead you into that gratitude and that connection. So some of the statements or mantras that can be used these phrases are, may I see that I'm connected to all beings may hold pain, mine and that of others with compassion? May I know that just for today, just for this moment, I am filled with loving kindness. Or, more simply, May all beings be happy and peaceful. May all beings be healthy and strong. May all beings be safe and protected from harm. May all beings be loved. May all beings live with ease and grace.
Judy Tsuei 6:16
You may have heard of Pema Chodron. She's inspired millions of people around the world as a Buddhist Teacher and Author, a nun and also a mother. She offers this practice of Tonglen, which means taking in and sending out. So it's this ancient method that has been used to cultivate connection and compassion. And what you do is you breathe in pain or anything that you're usually trying to push away or deny. And then you breathe out that kind of relief, you're sending out healing with your exhale, you're sending out love and joy into the world. So it can benefit not only yourself, but all beings. So that's the practice that we will do today.
Judy Tsuei 7:01
Can you find yourself in a comfortable space if you want to pause the podcast, and just take a little bit of time to really give yourself permission to feel comfortable. To take up some space. You're done desires and your needs are valid and just and that you can give yourself what it is that you need right now.
Judy Tsuei 7:40
If you need and if you want to you can move your body around. You can start to shift your shoulders up and down side to side. Move your spine, maybe it's a seated cat cow arching and rounding your back, maybe moving your right ear towards your right shoulder and then your left ear towards your left shoulders so that you're stretching out your neck. Whatever it is, that's going to help you create a sense of spaciousness, and then a sense of stillness. start to notice where your breath is in your body. So it might take a little bit to move from your headspace, out of a repetitive thoughts out of the worrying thoughts out of whatever has been on your mind lately.
Judy Tsuei 8:40
Can you feel yourself begin to relax the muscles in your belly. You don't need to hold on so tightly. Just start to feel the way your breath moves in your system. filling your lungs expand on the inhale in your ribcage. And on the exhale, emptying out. Inhale breathing in deeply. Maybe this is the deepest breath that you've breathed in all day. Breathing out, letting go. Notice if you're holding any tension in your body, in the corners of your eyes, in your cheeks, in your shoulders, and your hips and see if you can send your breath to the places that need a little bit of extra care.
Judy Tsuei 9:49
So as you deepen your relationship with your breath. Feel how it feels completely bringing all of your awareness In your presence to your inhalation, continue focusing on your inhalations for the next few cycles of breath.
Judy Tsuei 10:22
Can you begin to make your breath more steady. So it's a strong at the finish as it is at the start.
Judy Tsuei 10:43
Now bring all of your awareness to your exhalation. So if ever you're feeling stressed, and you want to move into a more grounded state, and focus on your exhales, more than your inhales, focus on expanding the length of your exhalation. This is what connects you to that parasympathetic, rest and digest system.
Judy Tsuei 11:15
And know that when you bring all of your awareness to your breath, you are automatically dropped into the present moment. And here in this present moment, is where you have the most power, the most awareness, the greatest ability to set an intention to navigate the path that you'd like to take moving forward. We'll just do a few more cycles of breath here focusing on the exhales.
Judy Tsuei 12:13
And now we'll move into that practice of tone then where you're breathing in any of the feelings that you're trying to push away or avoid any of the suffering, the stress of grief, that you may be feeling about where we are now as a planet and as a people. And understanding that you are not alone in this. Breathing in whatever pain you're feeling. And understanding that you have the power to transmute that feeling that you are a powerful being that there's this furnace within you that can create the sense of alchemy.
Judy Tsuei 12:57
And as you breathe that in, feeling that transformation within you. Then on the exhale, breathing out love, compassion, empathy, understanding you are this powerful be can shift consciousness within yourself and as you do that for the planet. So again, breathing in any of the stressors that you're feeling, rather than pretending that it's not there, acknowledging its presence. transmuting it shifting it within you your magical alchemy and then on the exhale, breathing out what the world needs now. love, compassion, kindness. Breathing in once again. shifting it within you breathing out this powerful sense of well being of choice, ability.
Judy Tsuei 14:17
Not being a victim to circumstance but rather knowing that each of us has power. We have free well. We can contribute to the greater good. Breathing in again. Shifting transmuting breathing out what the world needs now. What you need now. So for me, as I'm doing this practice, my hand is actually moving in a circle and intuitively feels like it wants to do this. My palm is facing my chest. It's about an inch or two away from my heart center. And it's just Moving in the circle, so I'm really imagining this power of being able to transmute the power of alchemy. And as I mentioned before, with my Reiki practice and energy healing, I can feel I can palpably feel this energy that's radiating from the palm of my hand.
Judy Tsuei 15:22
So I'm here with you, breathing with you, and this practice of Tomlin. We'll do one more round of breath breathing in whatever you feel needs to be addressed. transmuting shifting that energy, and then breathing out what it is that you uniquely have to offer. You can continue with this practice if you'd like to do that. Come back into the room gently floating your eyes open. Bringing your hands to your heart center. Whether in prayer pose or one palm on top of the other, just bowing the chin to the chest in a moment of gratitude, and deference. Lifting the back of your head up in line with the rest of your spine. Bringing the corners of your mouth up into a smile. And moving through the rest of your day with that sense of groundedness power and transformation.
Judy Tsuei 16:37
Thank you so much for joining me today. I hope that you like this practice. Remember that starting in season two, all of these mindfulness practices will become a paid premium feature if you want to support the podcast. And if you want to continue to access practices like these, have a beautiful rest of your day.
Wilder 16:57
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Judy Tsuei 17:16
Thank you so much for listening to today's episode. If you liked what you heard and know someone in your life who might also benefit from hearing this episode, please feel free to share it with them. Also, if you'd like to support our show, you can make a one-time donation fcksavingface.com. Or, you can make a recurring donation at patreon.com/fcksavingface. That's “fck” without the “u.” Subscribe today to stay tuned for all future episodes.
