“The Heartbeat: Sometimes, you don’t survive whole — you just survive in part.”
In a small bookstore in Moab, Utah, I pulled a book of poetry down from the shelf and decided to bring it home.
Why?
Because it’s time to slow down — to do life differently.
It occurred to me in meditation today that I have spent my entire life “fixing.”
Trying to fix my parents’ marriage.
Their debt.
Their inability to parent four children.
Trying to fix my clients’ problems.
The challenges they find in articulating what their brand is.
How to get people to pay attention, to scale, to sell.
Trying to fix myself, like something has been wrong with me this whole time.
But here’s what I’ve learned over this past week, watching my daughter rappel down a 400’ cliff and then mountain bike for the first time.
I want to live a life where my work comes from inspiration more than fixing.
Where it stems from joy over hustle.
It’s why I’ve decided to finish publishing the handful of interviews I’ve already recorded for F*ck Saving Face to complete Season 4, take a hiatus, then turn Season 5 into an act of artistry.
Of storytelling.
Of claiming space for myself and other kindred spirits.
Of writing and hosting live writing workshops.
I have always wanted to be an artist. I simply never gave myself permission that pursuing such a path is just as important as being seen as successful, responsible… or, good.
This week, I heard two profound shares from women who have and are undeniably lifting others up in the world…
The first from Toni Morrison on Finding Meaning:
Sometimes, you don't survive whole, you just survive in part.
But the grandeur of life is that attempt.
It's not about that solution.
It is about, you know, being as fearless as one can and behaving as beautifully as one can under completely, completely impossible circumstances.
It's that, that makes it elegant.
Good is just more interesting, more complex, more demanding.
Evil is silly.
It, it may be horrible but it's, at the same time, it's not a compelling idea.
It's predictable.
It needs a tuxedo, it needs a headline, it needs blood, it needs fingernails, it needs all that costume in order to get anybody's attention.
But the opposite, which is survival, blossoming endurance.
Those things are just more compelling, intellectually, if not, spiritually, they certainly are, spiritually.
This is a more fascinating job.
We are already born, we are going to die.
So you have to do something interesting that you respect in between.
The second from Tiffany Dufu, President of the Tory Burch Foundation, and basically who I want to be when I grow up.
Because she had limited availability for live calls, I offered two fellow founders in our program to join me.
We sat, side-by-side, looking into the Zoom screen, and asked various questions about her life and work experiences.
At the end, I asked about her journey as an entrepreneur, a leader, an author, and a mother.
I want to do right for Wilder, and I wanted to know what Tiffany had learned about how she was able to create such a powerful impact, even having to redefine the way her marriage looked with her husband, and doing this all as a parent.
“I’m going to tell you something straight from the heart,” Tiffany said, “and a lot of parents don’t like this truth.”
“You cannot control the story your child will have of you.”
"They are their own people. They will have their own narrative.”
“If you asked my son, he may say that he married a feminist because of the ways in which he saw his mother move through the world.”
“But if you asked my daughter, she may say that while her mother was out inspiring other women and girls, that the one person she did not focus on was her own daughter.”
“You cannot control their story of you.”
“I’m the oldest of four girls and if you ask my younger sister, she would have a very different view of our mother.”
“Go easy on yourself. You can only do your best.”
After she finished, eloquent as ever, the three of us were in tears. I’m not a crier and the burden she seemingly helped me lift from my own heart…
Well, I think the world is asking us to do things differently.
I’ll close the personal share part of this email with a snippet from the other book I picked up in that Moab bookstore called, “Modern Day Magic: 8 Simple Rules.”
To access your magical powers, you have to remove those layers of fear:
You might not feel you have unfettered access to your own power and purpose, but you do!
Your ego has simply shielded you from accessing it because it was afraid that you’d fall out of line, suffer from other people’s unkind or cruel judgments, or get into trouble some other way.
You’ve come to fear your sacred, supernatural power.
Your light.
But yor soul longs for you to liberate yourself from this fear…
We live in an exciting and transformational time. We stand on the precipice of a paradigm shift. And, while we still have a long way to go, patriarchal and hierarchical structures have started to collapse…
We will bear witness to this time of transition as we restore balance, drawing from the wisdom of our indigenous ancestors as we mold and shape a new earth.
We will be the recrod-keepers, those of us who watch it all happen.
You are one of those people, and the more you access your magical power, the more you particiapte in the recreation of our new earth.
It is that simple and that profound.
Have a beautiful week.
Love,
Judy
Join me in writing your success story.
The latest episode of my F*ck Saving Face podcast is live — and it’s a personal share. If you’re seeking more joy in your life, it’s a good listen.
Moab inspired me to begin planning live “talk story” sessions for creative storytelling. Let me know what you’d like to participate in.
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Wherever you put your attention and resources, understand the cost versus the value. There’s a difference.
